Thursday, July 3, 2014

Huge Conveniences

This morning I am feeling huge.

Last night, after dinner, I ate at least another meal's worth of snacks. I wasn't hungry but the snacks were convenient. I didn't have to make anything, it was all done for me. What convenience! We were watching a movie and video seems to induce eating. Unlike reading, television gets me eating and this makes me huge.

A local car salesman's tag line is that it's going to be huge. He's a fat slob and the ads turn me off no matter how huge the savings might be. I won't ever buy a car from him. He grosses me out.

I'll be going out for a run soon with a friend. This will not be huge nor will it involve television or eating. It will be good because it is a deliberate act, a conscious decision. It's also inconvenient. It would be easier to drive for coffee and muffins. Wouldn't that be huge?

I want to move away from convenience. I prefer hand-washing dishes to the dishwasher. I'd rather make potato chips than pull them from a bag. I don't want to fall farther into the convenient trap of becoming grossly huge.

The thing to do is to be deliberate and thoughtful.

If the used car commercial comes on, it's time to ask if I'm enjoying what I'm doing. Watching television, I'm probably not even if I think I am.

If I'm reaching for a packaged snack, I'll ask, is this a huge mistake? Just picturing that guy's face is enough to turn me from the fridge.

Which brings me back to convenience. Why make huge convenient? If I want something salty, make popcorn. I have corn, oil, pan, and a gas stove. That's convenient enough and it tastes better than packaged or microwaved junk. Making potato chips is a real chore, totally inconvenient. They taste great, but I'm only going to do that once in a while. That's the point.

When I'm tired or bored I have the habit of trying to feel good through food. That habit has become huge such that it feels bigger than I can control, but I'm still going for a run and that small measure of control is huge.

Writing this has been inconvenient. Revising it has been even moreso. That's the beauty of the process. Throughout all that inconvenience, I've been hugely aware and active. I haven't reached for a snack and the only habit I've been feeding is the one that tells me to write on.